Should I or Shouldn't I?

Friends usually come and go. Perhaps you won’t even realize that someone you have been with for a year or so has suddenly disappeared until he or she has reappeared several years later. I guess it happens sometimes in life.

Who could tell that my first entry after several months of nothingness is about something stupid that I did today? I found the day most amusing that it instantly snatched the worry from my head.

I was on a rush today. I tried cramming on a paper due this afternoon that I didn’t realize the time. A few more minutes and I would have been terribly late for work. With the paper only in my head, I suited up for work and hurriedly left the house.

Worry was still etched on my brows as I hurried to the jeepney stop. I couldn’t even focus on the song on my player. The paper still couldn’t get out of my head. I have always been a crammer but there was something special about this paper that really made my stomach reel.

All worry flew away when I noticed the girl in front of me. The jeep was almost empty so I couldn’t miss seeing her. I could clearly remember riding on the same jeep with this girl several times. I always have the same thought whenever I see her there: where have I met her before? I seem to know this girl several years back, though I just couldn’t be too sure.

My best guess was in grade school and that we also belong to the same school service. Back then, being in the same school service is like belonging into the same brood. Of course, it was all a childish misconception back then.

I sure remember that pretty face, now with the word “tired” etched all over it. Probably her current job or family or relationship has made her that way. Of course I couldn’t tell, but she surely matured a lot.

I kept on shooting glances at her like I was some stalker or something. What’s funny was that she was doing the same thing. We’re both pretending that we’re not looking at each other. Probably she, too was contemplating where we met or if this was really the classmate I had back then.

Should I talk to her? I thought, Maybe she doesn’t really remember? We don’t see that often, so I have nothing to lose.

I felt like some high school student mustering up the courage to talk to his crush. It seemed so juvenile. It was funny since it’s not like I’m asking her out or anything. I just felt that I needed to confirm that she really was a former classmate or not. Throughout the trip to the train station, I was fighting the urge to talk to her.

It’s now or never, I thought.

Minutes passed and I still couldn’t muster enough strength to talk to her. When the jeep came to my stop, she also went down. Apparently she’s riding the train as well.

All throughout the steps to the train, she was really close that I could have easily talked to her. Yet I was still hesitant. It was really an awkward moment. Instead of my speeding up the steps to get to the train like I usually do, I was climbing the darn steps at her pace.

WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I DOING?

At the queue to the North bound train, she was right in front of me. Yet I still held back. It wasn’t until we went past the ticketing area that I got the courage to talk to her. I stuttered and stammered my questions out. It turned out that she really did go to PCU and she really was a classmate back then. She said her name was Amelia and that she also went to UP.

The conversation lasted for two to three minutes. After that she went to the ladies section of the train while I proceeded to my usual side. I was grinning like stupid for what I did for the rest of the day.

I don’t know if I learned anything with that encounter, but sure enough, all the worries with the paper had been forgotten. Maybe it was God’s way of easing my worries. If it was, it sure was successful.