Reconnecting

As seventh-day adventists, we never practice baptism of babies. Thus, most children raised in SDA homes don't have godmothers or godfathers.

So it's a big wonder to most that as I grew up, I had a god mother. Yes, do. I only have one. She is my mom's best friend. 

The last time I heard of her was back in grade school. It was before the internet age. After that, she flew to Hawaii, never to be seen again. We used to email when I was in high school or college but suddenly we lost contact. She stopped responding until some of my messages bounced back.

Just this week, I tried to "organize" my email address book. I sent emails to long lost contact to confirm if this was still their email. If not, I'll delete their emails. I have friends in high school who created several email accounts but never used them. Then, I found her email. I tried to send a message, this time just asking how she is. I was amazed when I received a reply the next day. 

I wasn't overjoyed. Just a little bit surprised. I told my mom and she was overjoyed. I don't know why I didn't feel that way. Probably because we never had any connection in the first place. I grew up knowing that she existed. Then again, it's nice to learn that she's alive and well. I just hope I could get a gift from her on my birthday this time. just joking. :P

Sudden rush to the head.

It's amazing how emotions could play tricks on you.

Just today, out of no where I felt a sudden rush of sadness. I don't know why. The day hasn't started yet and here I was feeling sad. What's wrong?

It made me want to leave for home the moment I came in to work. 

Then I realized, I wasnt sad,

I was lazy. 

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”Jeremiah 17:7-8

how do I get to know you more?

Jitters.

My hands were clammy and cold. I felt like the smallest person in the universe. I mustered all my strength to talk in front of a crowd. I couldn't quite find my voice at first. I sounded like a squeaking mouse. I really am not good at preaching.

I could write full sermons or a full essay but I couldn't get myself to deliver it in front of a large crowd. I believe it is completely normal. Anyone would really feel scared when asked to stand in front of a large congregation and share a little piece of your life. 

I'm really glad it's over. Praise be to God.

Fall Down. Serve.

How many times have I asked God why I am doing this job? How many times have I left the question hanging and just served even though most times, I am beaten to a pulp by the kids who seem stronger than me. Most days I am over powered. Yesterday was the worst. Yet at the end of the day, God gives surprises. I was truly humbled over yesterday's request, I felt so small to receive so great a recommendation. This was all God's work, not mine.

So now, I'll still fall down and serve.

I still sincerely believe that this is a ministry in itself, thus whatever I have done, I do with the love of the Lord in my mind and in the best interests of the Ministry. Even though others like me may not decide to do likewise.