As the Music Fades

I stared at the smoke strewn sky as I walked down the street. It's bound to be long night tonight. Shops were already closing earlier than usual. Fire crackers could be heard from a mile off. Each boom of the triangular explosive, the earth shudders foretelling of the close of the year. It happens every year. Fire crackers they call it but it sounds more like dynamites capable of destroying the city.

I really don't get the point of these fire crackers. Is it a great way to face the new year? More like starting the year with chaos and more trash than the usual. But who am I to say anything? I'm just walking here.

I continued walking. Each step I take, I tried to recount all that has happened this year. From the funny first day of the year to the resumption of the internship months. Until now that I am considered a professional (whatever that means!).

I also recount the pitfalls, the obstacles, the pain, the trials and the temptations. They were hard. They were sorely troublesome. And yet, I find a stronger me each time I surpass them. Especially that as each time I try to squeeze my way out of it, a hand would always be willing to grab me out. And I find myself on the floor every time it happens. Kneeling. Praying.

BOOM!

A cracker just went off a few feet from me. It was followed by the sound of laughter. I thought of throwing a stone at them. One that would surely hit them in the face if not the eyes. But I thought better. How many times have stones been thrown at me without even fighting back? For this year, I say many times. Not just tiny stones but boulders.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Several more. And it came from where I was walking minutes ago. I reached our front door. I tried to breathe the last of the 2008 air. It was dirty and smells like gun powder. I just hope the new year would be better than the old. It should be. Especially when He is there.

So as the sound of the explosions drown the night away.



















I'll just sleep it all away!

Bad Shots

Using three pillows and a straw, I was able to do the impossible.

I opened the door to my world thinking it would be worthwhile to spend the hours while waiting for sleep to hit me in the head. I got hit in the head but the computer where my world was supposedly located could not be accessed.

Okay so I don't make sense. So what?

I wend home at 1 am in the morning. A new record for the month of december but not for the year. This year I went home past 12 midnight several times including one time after the Estragel play but you don't want to know about that anyway.

I waited for sleep to catch me. I tried to set up the scene wherein it would catch me while playing a computer game of my liking. But to my dismay, sleep already nearly knocked me out while the computer is not yet running. So I waited till morning to find out what's wrong with this and get the right people responsible for doing this exterminated. (as if I could actually do that!)

So I woke up earlier than usual and started the tedious process of finding out what's wrong with the computer. (At around this season, that would be around 8 or 9 in the morning)

After 7 hours of grudgingly long scans, and checks, I was finally able to.........sleep.

Nice me.

PS. Oh yeah, I managed to fix the computer while sleeping or rather, it fixed itself while I was sleeping.

PPS. the culprits are already knocked out. as in they're also asleep at this moment.

Christmas Back Breaker

I watched in silence as people went past me. Most of them were kids with their parents happily trudging the streets to their godparents or to their relatives for their Christmas gifts.

It only happens here and only in this season where you find all of the people out with a seemingly festive mood. But I still watched in silence.

I woke up early this morning not catching the same festive air these people have. I am not griping neither am I envious. In fact, we prepared food for a small family gathering at our uncle's place. It was enough to feed a hungry regiment.

But that wasn't the way I spent the whole day. Actually, the whole day was muscle straining for me, my brother and my father.

We set aside breathing the jolly air to begin the day with work. Yes. Amidst all the caroling and the cheers that people were having, we were working.

But hold your horses, if my colleagues reading this might think that I did SP work on a Christmas, they're dead wrong. I did something harder.

My father was actually reluctant to bring me along. I didn't have the right stamina and physical strength to do the job. But he brought me along just to ease the load between him and my brother. They also hired someone from our neighborhood to help. Our task: to transfer boxes and other assortments from Makati to Manila.

A client offered my father the job. He was a long time client and a friend so my father consented to the work. Although he thought that this would be as easy as pie to his dismay.

Approximately 15 balikbayan boxes (and huge ones at that), not to mention a 30" television with stand, a king sized bed, two pets (a cat and two birds), 2 aquariums worth of sand and corals and several gallons of water were carried in 4 trips.

The number may seem overwhelming but it's a complete understatement compared to the weight of the boxes. (And I still wonder why the client didn't rent a truck for the job)

We had to load it to our vehicle from inside the client's house and bring it to his new 2nd floor apartment in Manila. So here's to make it easier to picture the house is a bungalow.

Our muscles were strained. Our clothes were filthy with the dust and grime. Our backs nearly broken carrying all those load. And all the people we pass were frolicking with their new gifts while others were flaunting their new clothes and hairstyles. (Read on I'm not bitter promise!)

The work took past lunchtime. But that is without noting that after the third trip, I blacked out. We were carrying the last box before going back. As I was about to go up the stairs, I seemed to lose hearing while at the same time, my eyes seemed to see all black. I was conscious. I know my eyes were open, but my ears and my eyes seemed to be not functioning at that moment. My mouth was parched. My knees were not just shaky but almost useless in carrying my own weight. I have feared the worst. I'm blacking out.

That was the second time I've blacked out like that. The first one was while on a hiking trip gone wild at Ilas, bulacan, bordering bulacan and montalban, rizal. It was a helluva experience and another story.

So I sat down and closed my eyes. On our way to the client's house to load the fourth time, I thought my father would drop me off to our house to rest. But he didn't. Actually, I don't want the day to end with me feeling that weak in the remaining hours of the day so I was thankful. I rested for a while. Luckily, a dumptruck was blocking our way to the client's house so we have to wait for a while. It was enough for me to regain my strength.

After the back breaking toil, we headed to our uncle's house hoping to party with my cousins. We found the house with only our family remaining and our uncle. All the others left. So feeling slightly dejected, we took to eating our overdue lunch instead and then went home.

It was a great way to spend the Christmas. Unique. Hard. Not to mention, back breaking. But the best part was that at the end of the day, there was pay worth our labor.

Never Try This At Home

It's a Holiday. One of those days where there's nothing important to do but be alive and love it or be bored with it. Either way, I felt both. And I probably will be for the next few days. Why do we delegate two weeks to spend everything we've earned for the rest of the year?

Well, anyway, here I was just performing my role in this world at this time of the year: hybernating.

I slept for the rest of the afternoon. But I woke up feeling hot and sweaty all over. Man!! I forgot to turn on the electric fan. Too bad for  me.

Not feeling sleepy anymore, I decided to play on my computer while downloading something. I just got the classic Starcraft game. I decided to finish the campaign game once more just to feel it again.

I was in the middle of building my defences when someone gave me a BUZZ on the yahoo messenger.

Man! I shouldn't have put my messenger on.

I minimized my game, hoping to sign out my YM. A few minutes later I found myself chatting.
When I returned back on my game, my base was obliterated!!!!

So much for feeling it again!

Have Not Lost The Touch!

I really don't know if I could still do this, I thought as I stepped onto the platform. It has been years since I last did this kind of thing and now I'm not so sure if I could pull it off again. I wrapped my finger onto the trigger as I eased my shoulders onto the rifle. And as if every movement made a sound, I silently slid my head into the sights of the sniper rifle.

I'll just have to be fast and accurate. I'll just have to be calm and ready. I'll just have to make it feel like the old days.

"Man, what am I thinking?" I said to myself. "Those old days were just two years ago. I could definitely pull this off again."

I set my sights on the crosshair. Then I tightened my grip on the gun as I awaited the orders. And the mission began.

The wind speed and the wind direction were A-ok. I was completely hidden from view from this platform so my enemies wouldn't know what hit them the moment I pull the trigger. I set my sights on the first target and as all breath escaped from my mouth and nose, I pulled it.

It took me a few seconds to recover from the recoil and see what happened. I drew the first blood and as expected he didn't know what hit him. He just fell like stone with a busted head. A head shot too!

But I didn't end there. There were more enemies and time is running out. I have to postpone the celebrations and make the body count rise fast!

I spotted the next two targets on the rooftops. I shouldn't miss. If I missed they'll open fire. They may not hit me but some civilian might get hurt. I managed to bag the other two on the roof tops without sparing a moment for one of them to look at the other as he dropped dead. I shot some more scum guarding the building. These structures with glass panels for walls sure make my job easy. I fell three men including one who was hiding behind a group of civilian hostages. All of them head shots.

Now it came to the last man. This guy's the mastermind and the higher ups want him dead. He was holding this lady while rocking back and forth apparently trying to elude my rifle. Little did he know that his head was sticking out that even before I was signalled, a frag was already flying towards him. He fell down with a hole on his forehead.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I managed to pull it off. I haven't lost the touch at all.

I can still play this video game. I can still play Sogeki and now at a new location with so few people playing. I might be at Shangrila longer than the usual.

Randomness daw...

Got this from michi sabi niya randomness daw. I've got nothing to do but random things these days so here I go.

So, do comment and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

Home Alone

I was left to guard the house. At around this season, I get to be like this. Most of the time, my parents would be busy themselves with all the outreach programs in church. Today, they're at the Haven, an institution for abused women and children. Meanwhile, my siblings are busy with their school work, one is in baguio for a school convention while another is at the hospital on a graveyard nurse duty. My other sister is sleeping and so is my grandfather and they wouldn't wake up until later. So still alone at home.

It makes me remember Kevin McCallister. Who wouldn't forget that 90's Christmas film and its sequel? I really enjoyed it as a kid and I still do now. It's a about Kevin played by Macaulay Culkin, who for some reason was left alone at home when his family was on an annual Christmas Vacation somewhere else. While all alone at home, two escaped convicts tries to break into their supposedly empty home but was stopped by Kevin by placing all sorts of booby traps in their house.

So here am I. Also alone at home writing a blog!! Oh well, I guess it can't be helped. I'll just spray some grease on the stairs for a change. heh!

When God Asked The Question

“Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, an answer thou me.” – Job 38: 3

 
More than once, I have come to ask God why we experience hardships in life. Before I started working, I kept on struggling with my issues during in internship. I began to seek answers on how hard life could be and why am I undergoing such trials. More so when while working, issues such as money, pride, responsibility and so many others started to surface. It was even too much to bear when question after questions barraged my brain that I could not answer.

Why should these things fall on us? Why do we have to struggle a lot? Why does life seemed so burdensome? These questions in mind led me to search the scriptures.

I have known that of all the great men in the Bible, Job’s struggle was by far the greatest. Where else can you find a righteous man whose success in life is unrivaled by anyone in his time. Yet with one swoop everything disappeared leaving him not only broken hearted but broken physically as well. But with that already in mind, I still didn’t know the whole story.

What I learned from Job is astounding.

Consider a man like him, he was called blameless. Yet the sudden turn of events made him seemed to be cursed of men. All his children dead, his properties stolen, his wife estranged, and his body almost left for dead all at the same time could be enough to drive any man stark raving mad. It was the hardest for anyone to endure.

Job’s tragedy never fully ended there. His friends taunted him for days with Job trying his best to counter their every word. When Job is at the brink of giving in to their will, the most amazing thing happened God spoke. If that isn’t enough to put you in awe, then you’d be surprised at what he said: He asked questions.

We all know what happened when God spoke. In Genesis, his very words made the world as we know it. His breath even holds the very lives that we have. The last time He asked a question, Adam and Eve were banished from Eden. In Exodus, his mere presence caused the all the hairs on Moses’ body to turn white. Bottom line is you really should cower when He asks you something.

What God asked to Job at that time was really astounding. Putting yourself in the shoes of that man, your trouble was only the loss of everything you have and here was the giver of it all, asking you where were you when he made all those donkeys, camels, and much more your life?

It is a bitter sweet reminder to all of us that these things that we experience are petty things compared to what God has done for all of us. Job’s story was God’s challenge not only for Job but for all of us. Should we try to ask Him why, we should prepare ourselves to answer the who, the what, and the where.

Hard Hearts and Dry Bones

“I really don’t want to talk about faith or God!” A friend once responded when our conversation drew near the topic. “Whenever that’s the topic there seems to be no argument,” He continued.

True enough, we often meet people with the same view as my friend. Most of them would rather talk about the weather, the up coming sale or what’s new on television than who is God and what His purpose in our life is. They would readily avoid things that they know would lead them to a realization that would give them a 180 degree turn back to our Creator. These would lead us to a question: why?

I am not a psychologist or a sociologist to give a general fact, but in the case of my friend, I can clearly see that it is merely the fear of seeing the error of his chosen path that keeps him from knowing God. It is refusing to accept what God really wanted for his life and instead, enjoy the pleasures that HE KNOWS is something unacceptable to the Creator. Thus, his tendency is to avoid anything that would lead him to discover how much he was missing with God by asking skeptical questions or ignoring the topic completely.

Yet for all we know, people like my friend have all the potential to be a great leader in church. Some would have the talent that would help move mountains in the ministry. Yes, they sometimes seem better than us. So what do we do we do about it?

An error that I have learned in dealing with that friend of mine is not to force any Christian fact. It is like forcing your head on an untrained lion’s mouth. He’ll bite back in anger. Another one is to ask questions that would dig deep into his core beliefs as he would tend to hide in his shell. So what would be a better way?

EZEKIEL’S WAY

An Adventist Review Online article called “Dry Bones and Living Souls” seeks to answer such questions by allowing us to look back at the time of Ezekiel.

During Ezekiel’s time, Israel had been under captivity. Most of them have become hopeless to the point of losing faith on and being skeptical with God. It was then that God took Ezekiel on a valley of dry bones. (verse can be found in Ezekiel 37: 1-10)

No questions asked, the bones pertain to death and decay – “dead men walking—alive, but spiritually dead; awake, yet in carnal slumber” as blatantly mentioned in the article.

1. Trust God
What really makes you wonder is the Ezekiel’s view on the matter. While completely surrounded by dry bones, God asked him if the bones would live. Without a single doubt, the prophet replied “O Lord God, thou knowest.”

Ezekiel had nothing to say with the matter. It was like seeing him holding up both hands saying “God it’s you’re call not mine! You’re the mighty one not me!” Dry bones or not, we must keep in mind that it is God who can touch hearts and turn heads, not us. We must refrain from that “shortsighted humanity” wherein we close the doors on people once they rejected God. We must trust God to know what we would say or do. Remember, we don’t call the shots, we’re just the guns.

2. “Prophesy upon these bones”
Ezekiel was then asked by God to prophesy upon the bones. God gave him the exact words. Lo and behold, life came into the bones.

After trusting God to know what would happen, respond to His bidding. Don’t give up on talking to the person. Ask God what to say. He’ll tell you what to say or how to prophesy.

Again, we are the tools. We are the disciples. God directs. So the whole process is God’s call. Just imagine the scene after Ezekiel prophesied. So many things happened in the process. A loud noise and shaking, bones came together, sinews and flesh came, and lastly, skin covered the structure. It was a process that God willed to form after Ezekiel followed the command.

The same would happen to us, God would direct the words and would tell you when to stop. Afterwards, you just wait and you will be surprised with what will happen to the bones.

3. “Prophesy unto the wind”
So the bones came together and became flesh. But imagine the prophet’s surprise when he discovers that the flesh was not moving. God then tells him to “prophesy unto the wind”

Adventist Review Online article clearly identifies the wind as the Holy Spirit. It also goes further to point out that all evangelistic efforts would be futile had the converting power of the Holy Spirit been forgotten. True enough, nothing would come out of any work of God without the Holy Spirit to guide us and to touch the people we invite to God. The Holy Spirit is an essential ingredient in the mix to make any dry bones come to life.

Following Ezekiel’s response to God could no doubt be effective in convincing people to go back to God. The results were clearly staggering. At the end, a whole army was standing in front of Ezekiel ready to do battle.

I could not wait to try such approach to my friend. If God could make dry bones into an army during Ezekiel’s time, why not on ours?